英语幽默小故事【通用多篇】

英语幽默故事10. 篇一

Recently engaged, I asked my aunt, who has been married to Uncle Bob for 34 years, what she thought was the key to the success of their long union. She said, “ Try not to argue, and we respect each other’s privacy.”

At this point Uncle Bob interrupted. “ She works days and I work nights,” he said.

英语幽默故事3. 篇二

The miserly millionaire called a family conference, “ I’m placing a box of money in the attic,” he said.” When I die, I intend to grab it on my way up to heaven. See to it that no one touches it until it’s my time too go.”

The family respected his wishes. After his death, the millionaire’s wife looked in the attic. The box was still there. “ THE FOOL!” she said. ”I told him he should have put it in the basement.”

英语幽默小故事3：Two Soldiers 篇三

irstone‘snamewasGeorge,andthesecondone‘gesaid,“haveyougotapieceofpaperandanenvelope,Bill?”

Billsaid,“Yes,Ihave,”andhegavethemtohim.

ThenGeorgesaid,“NowIhaven‘tgotapen.”Billgavehimhis,heputitintheenvelopeandsaid,“haveyougotastamp,Bill?”Billgavehimone.

ThenBillgotupandwenttothedoor,soGeorgesaidtohim,“Areyougoingout?”

BillSaid,“Yes,Iam,”andheopenedthedoor.

Georgesaid,“Pleaseputmyletterintheboxintheoffice,and.。.”Hestopped.

“Whatdoyouwantnow?”Billsaidtohim.

Georgelookedattheenvelopeofhisletterandanswered,“What‘syourgirl-friend‘saddress?”

幽默故事翻译：

军营里有二名士兵，一个叫乔治，一个叫比尔。乔治问：“比尔，你有信纸、信封吗？”

比尔说：“有。”然后把信纸和信封给了乔治。

乔治又说：“我还没有笔呢。”比尔又把自己的笔给了他。乔治开始写信。写完后把信放进信封里，又问：“比尔，你有邮票吗？”比尔给了他一张。

这时比尔站起来，向门口走去。乔治问：“你要出去吗？”

比尔说：“是的。”随即打开了门。

乔治说：“请帮我把这封信投进办公室的信箱里，还有。.。”他停住了。

“你还要什么？”比尔问。

乔治看着信封说：“你女朋友的地址是-?”

英语幽默小故事9：Best Reward 篇四

fficeraskedhowhecouldrewardhim.

“Thebestway,sir,”saidthedeckhand,“eotherfellowsknewI‘dpulledyouout,they‘dchuckmein.”

幽默故事翻译：最好的奖赏

一名海军军官从甲板上掉入海中。他被一名甲板水手救起。这位军官问如何才能酬谢他。

“最好的办法，长官，”这名水手说，“是别声张这事。如果其他人知道我救了您，他们会把我扔下去的。”

英语幽默小故事8：Wood Fire 篇五

Onewomanlecturedherbestfriendonthenatureofthemaleanimal.“Husbandsarelikewoodfires;theygooutifleftunattened.”

“Doesthatmean,”askedtheother,“thattheymakeashesofthemselves?”

幽默故事翻译：森林之火

一名妇女向她最好的朋友大谈雄性动物的特性：“丈夫们就像是森林里的火，一不注意，他们就会燃烧起来。”

“那是不是意味着，”另一个问道，“他们将自己烧成灰烬？”

英语幽默故事9. 篇六

During my first year at Naval Postgraduate School, I sat chatting one day with some classmates about the program’s difficulties. A professor overheard us and tried to allay our fears. “Don’t worry too much about grades,” he explained. “ When you think you know everything, they give you a Bachelor’s degree. Then when you realize that you don’t know anything, they give you a Master’s, and when you find out that you don’t know anything, but neither does anyone else” he continued,” they give you a doctorate.”

英语幽默故事7. 篇七

One professor solemnly addressed the class the day after a big assignment had been due. “ Many of you know me,” he intoned. “And many of you have met my dog, Gus. Obviously, one of you has not.”

“ I apologize to whoever slipped a term paper under my office door,” he continued. “ My dog ate your homework.”

英语幽默小故事14：Gardening Gloves 篇八

SeveralweeksafteroursonbeganhisfreshmanyearatAlmaCollegeinMichigan,carefultocallhimafewdaysinadvanceto“warn”wearrivedatthedorm,however,Iwastakenabackbythedisarrayofhisroom.“Forgotwewerecoming,didn‘tyou?”Iteased.

“Areyoukidding?”hereplied,“WhyelsewouldIhavebotheredtoclean?”

幽默故事翻译：提醒

我们的儿子是密歇根州阿尔马大学的新生，开学几个星期之后，我和丈夫决定去看看他。我特意提前给他打电话，“提醒”他我们将光临。但是当我们来到宿舍时，他的房间凌乱不堪，我非常吃惊。“忘了我们要来，是吧？”我取笑他。

“开什么玩笑？“，他回答说，“要不我凭什么费神打扫？”